How to Grow in Self-Love by Meeting Your Love Needs

How to Grow in Self-Love by Meeting Your Love Needs
One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others.
BELL HOOKS

We all give and receive love in different ways and giving and receiving love for ourself is no different. And while we may have a preferred love language, knowing what we need at any one time and giving that to ourself is hugely rearding.  I have shared some of my ideas in ways we can show ourself that we love ourself, but there is no right and wrong here.

Do Lovely Things for Yourself
Enjoy Loving Yourself
Spend Time with Yourself
Pamper Time

The point is to do things that you love, for you. Do them knowing you are the most important person in your life.  I’d love to hear some of your ideas, please share in the comments.

Love always wins.

Do Lovely Things For Yourself

Do lovely things for yourself
Prepare Food You Enjoy
Buy Yourself Things that light up Your Heart
Gift Yourself Nature
Make Your Space Beautiful & Nurturing

Knowing how you give and receive love, can strengthen your journey to self-love.

Making sure that we cook and prepare food we love and enjoy, rather than the food our partner, kids or family enjoy, is a small act, that shows us our needs, desires, and preferences matter.  It might seem easier to cook what the kids will eat but it’s important to find balance, to show yourself you matter.

When you know what lights you up and makes you feel loved, you can then meet this need for yourself, rather than expecting others to meet this need. Think about what you can do for you today to show yourself you love you.  

If gifts are your love language, then showing yourself love through buying yourself a gift is a great way to meet your needs. It doesn’t have to be expensive and with some thought it doesn’t need to be detrimental to the earth.

Here are a few of my ideas, but the important thing is that you get to know you and honour what feels loving for you

Gifting yourself things from nature is a great way to show yourself love
Picking feathers, pretty shells, or flowers from your garden, are a lovely way to show love
Spending time in a calm beautiful space is good for the soul, so rather than seeing housework as a bring task, gift this to yourself, knowing you deserve a lovely space to be.

Enjoy Loving Yourself

Leave Yourself Love Notes
Plan a Date for You
Relax in the Tub

Giving ourself love gestures not only builds our self-love but makes life more enjoyable. It may seem a strange idea if you’re used to having these needs met by others, or not having them met at all, but it really is a lot of fun and helps us get to know ourself more.

1- Writing yourself a long lovely letter, tell yourself know how much you mean to you. It is really powerful and can change the unconscious and our underlying sense of self.
2 - Leaving little love notes around your home, can be a great way to bring small moments of joy

As a giver I used to spend a lot of time making these kinds of gestures for others, and often felt quite dejected when they weren’t appreciated or reciprocated.  I was often giving to others what I wanted, not what they wanted. Which really just gets messy! 

What’s your ideal date?
A picnic
A beautiful candle lit meal
A long walk by the coast and a pub lunch
A spa weekend

There’s nothing more powerful than a person who can meet their own needs 

Candles
Bubbles
Music
Rose petals
A glass of wine or cup of tea

Spend Time With Yourself

•	Make Time to Read
•	Plan a Movie Night with Your Favourite Film
•	Snuggle Up with a Blanket
•	Make Time to Rest

It’s easy to think of course I spend time with myself, who else am I with? But are we really present with ourself, or do we fill the time distracting ourselves?

The greatest gift you can give yourself is a little bit of attention

I realised that I felt like I’d given myself much more attention, when I turn my phone off during a movie, or when I snuggle up with a book. When I commit fully to enjoying time with myself, I feel better. Make spending quality time with you part of your journey to more self-love and feel your cup fill up.

Make Time to Pamper Yourself

“I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick.” — Audrey Hepburn

During the last year in the UK we’ve spent more time at home alone than ever before and with this has come more PJ days, less haircuts, massages and getting dressed up.  And there’s part of me (not the main part, I’m quite happy in a hoody and trainer) that misses getting dressed up, being a bit glam, so as part of my journey into more self-love I have chosen to honour myself and get dressed up every now and then.

Paint Your Nails
Wear Your Favourite Outfit
Wear Perfume or Aftershave
Use Your Best Crockery
Give Your Feet a Massage
Indulge in Accessories

What would make your inner child happy? Ask them what they need, and if it’s a little bit of pampering make some time, I’m sure you won’t regret it.

Published by Laura Hamblyn Holistic Therapist

I live in the UK, in a large town north of London, I am devoted to my spiritual path, and I’ve discovered that real joy comes from service, I am a qualified healer and therapist, meditation teacher, a vegan chef, and a solo mother to a wonderful child.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: