Self-Love Through Honouring Uniqueness

Self-Love Through Honouring Our Uniqueness • Embrace Differences • Accept Yourself • Work Out What You Love • Make a List of ALL the Amazing Things About You
“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.” ― Shannon L. Alder

The world would be a very uninteresting place if we all looked the same, thought the same and felt the same, and yet I have found that much of my journey has been trying to fit in and change into who or what I thought I should be, and the other half has been unpicking all of this so I can be myself and embrace who I am. 

When I talk to friends and clients there seems to be a similar pattern, up until our late twenties or early thirties there is a great desire to look a certain way, to hide parts of ourselves we feel aren’t normal, and to fit in.  And then there becomes a process of unravelling, to find what was there all along: our uniqueness, which I believe is our gift to the world.

Self-Love through Embracing Our Differences 

“The things that make me different are the things that make me me.” A. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)
“In most of our human relationships, we spend much of our time reassuring one another that our costumes of identity are on straight.” – Ram Dass
“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are” 
― Kurt Cobain

Ram Dass talks about how when we enter the forest, we are in awe of all the unusual trees, of how ever single tree is unique and how we are drawn to the more unusual trees… and yet with humans we tend to see any bumps and lumps as deformity rather than beauty. Just think about that for a second, the one thing you may feel is wrong with you, could be the most beautiful thing, because real beauty lies within the eye of the beholder. We know this to be true and yet how often do we allow ourselves to feel that this applies to us as well?

And it’s not only our physical features that make us interesting and unique. The world would also be quite a dull place if we all thought the same way. So next time you get frustrated about the way you are feeling or processing information, how about accepting it and see if that helps?

Self-Love Through Accepting Our Selves

“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” 
― Brené Brown, Daring Greatly

Self-acceptance, what does that mean? It is all about acknowledging the rough and the smooth, so it’s not just focusing on our achievements, and those parts of self we find easy to love, it  means that we accept our light and our dark. We look at ourself with discernment, and then accept all that is true.  We may be funny and sometimes insensitive, that is ok, we can work on our insensitivity, which is much easier to do when we acknowledge and accept it. What we don’t do is buy into the story we may have built around some of our stuff which makes us feel ashamed of parts of who we are. This is not the truth. We accept it knowing we are humans and as such having work to do is part of it. And when we stop pushing parts of ourself away, we may find that others also embrace the whole of us, and we find our belonging.

What parts of self are you ready to accept today?

Self-Love Through Doing Things You Love

“Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.” Tina Fey

Doing things just because we enjoy them, signals to ourself that we value ourself, it helps us understand what makes us tick, and can lead us to discover more about ourself.

Spend some time working out what you love doing, the unique things that you enjoy. Really focus on how they make you feel, what lights you up and brings you joy. Don’t buy into any stories about whether you are good at it, it’s useful, or anything else, this is simple about doing things that light you up. 

For instance I love painting, I’m not good at it but I love it, so I enjoy doing it. School (and perhaps life) encourages us to stick to what we’re good at and focus on that, which might mean we don’t know about some things we love. Who knows? You might love trampolining, wearing odd socks, eating in the dark, caring for a garden, team sports, the list is endless.  Play around, experiment and when you find things you love, do them, and don’t worry about whether your friends or partner have the same interests.  

Make a List of ALL the Amazing Things About You

Make a List of ALL the Amazing Things About You
•	When you’re in a happy place make a list of all the amazing things about you. 
•	Write these down and keep them somewhere you can access. 
•	If ever you’re having a hard day, or a moment in a day when loving yourself feels hard, you can go back to the list and read it.
•	Keep reading it until you believe it.

Sometimes self-love can feel much harder than other days, this is normal. But we can look after ourselves by using our good days to support us.

Whenever you’re having a hard day, make yourself a cuppa, snuggle up, and reach for your list, read it through, remember that if it was true when you wrote it, it’s true now, the only thing that has changed is how we feel. Keep reading it.

Our thoughts and emotions come and go, and we can decide what is the truth that anchors us in a storm, choose a kind loving anchor, and if it feels too hard, you could ask a kind supportive friend to help you make your list, you might be surprised by the wonderful things they value about you.

If you’re enjoying this blog, please do sign up to my mailing list to hear more from me. Much love from my heart to yours Laura

Published by Laura Hamblyn Holistic Therapist

I live in the UK, in a large town north of London, I am devoted to my spiritual path, and I’ve discovered that real joy comes from service, I am a qualified healer and therapist, meditation teacher, a vegan chef, and a solo mother to a wonderful child.

3 thoughts on “Self-Love Through Honouring Uniqueness

  1. Beautiful post! I so agree with this, Laura. I think we must first find self-acceptance before we can begin to love ourselves. Sadly, I didn’t see my worth until I was in my forties. It’s sad how we waste our precious youth being insecure and depending on the approval of others.

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